Why Do I Fear?
BY CRYSTAL CATALAN | May 31, 2021
Sunday’s Readings
Jesus said, “And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”
But, do we really believe that? Since preschool, I have continually heard that message: “God is with you. God is always with you!” My faith told me so. My weekly catechism teacher taught me so. And so, it was embedded in my mind. And still, sometimes I forget, and sometimes I don’t really feel that truth. But when I am still, when I am quiet, when I spend time in prayer, I am reminded yet again, and I trust, and I believe that that is the case. And so, I ask myself, “If I truly believe that God is with me until the end of the age” and that I will never, ever, be left apart from my God, then why do I fear?
Specifically, what keeps me from speaking out in moments when I am witnessing injustice? When did I cling to fear and self-doubt, instead of recalling that the God of Justice, Jesus my Comforter, and the Holy Spirit are with me and empowering me at every moment, especially in moments rooted in love and living out the Gospel?
As Jesus was gathered with his disciples on that holy mountain, he said, “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations.” And yet, he didn’t say how. That part, I believe, is up to each one of us. Perhaps for you it is through having much-needed conversations centered on faith, or advocating for equity and inclusion to make space where everyone feels that they belong, or simply by being present to others as a living sign of solidarity and accompaniment.
In moments when we feel faint or discouraged, may we be disciples of peace and justice, calling upon the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit to guide us in our thoughts, words, actions, and in our hearts. And, without hesitation, without doubt, without fear, may we answer the call and “Go.”
Crystal Catalan serves as the director of diversity, equity, and inclusion at Presentation High School in San Jose, CA. She holds degrees from the University of San Diego and Eastern University, and previously served as a missioner with Cabrini Mission Corps in New York, the Philippines, Swaziland, and Radnor, PA at Cabrini University. She recently graduated with a masters in pastoral ministries with an emphasis in restorative justice and chaplaincy at Santa Clara University.
I find it of utmost importance to begin each day with a brief reading(currently from St. Teresa of Avila by Mirabai Starr and/or Center for Action and Contemplation daily meditations). These are thought-provoking, reassuring, and provide a gentle focus for the day. This focus can be returned to as the day goes by–during the experience of both smooth events and more turbulent times. Thank you for your thoughts on inclusiveness as our society can sometimes dull the awareness of everyone’s need to be continually compassionate and accepting. Reminders and reassurances are always needed and welcome. Be well!
What keeps me from speaking out about issues of Justice? Well, in some of the programs I am part of at Church, one hopes for support from the many in community. Often the issues are important in serving others but the hesitancy is a lack of investment. Is mine and others concerns the focus of others? Does the community think that what we suggest needs to be embraced by others? Does the community want others to be in the same place we are? Does the community truly want justice for all? Does the community believe in social justice or just justice for individuals? I was in a hospital recently where a certain procedure was being given. There were 8 people in the group waiting. One person was extremely disabled as far as controlling his movements. The good thing is that 2 women of his nationality knew that justice needed to be served and they literally took care of his every movement. It was impressive as they were in the line for the procedure also. They deferred to him out of justice as neither one of them knew him. When his time was done, they got in line for themselves. It was wonderful to see. I hope others have good stories about the giving of justice to others. One wonders when a community of believers will do this for all?
Fine ammunition to combat fear. Thanks Crystal Catalan. Indeed the Lord says, “fear NOT, for I AM with you till the end of TIME.”